And my life won.

I’m shrinking back into the corners, licking my wounds, my head spinning from the constant beating.  I was just looking for the glimmer, the glint, the sparkle of joy.  Anything that shines.  I want to shine, too.

Instead the darkness sucks it back before I can really see it.  Before I can really feel it.  But I know it’s there, and I can feel it disappearing.  I can feel something heavy being laid on my shoulders, telling me to just lie down.  Urging me to stop looking for the magic.

“It’s not there,”  the darkness whispers.  “It’s not anywhere.”

But if I don’t believe that life can twinkle and dance, even when it is slapping me and driving me into a dark corner of silence, then I’ll have no reason to heal.  I’ll have no reason to be kind to myself.  No reason to stand up again and look for bright spots on the horizon.