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When you find a rat in your kitchen at 4:30 in the morning, it does a few things to you.

First, you think you are losing your mind because there is no way you flipped on the light in a sleepy haze, your only real reason for being in that moment to make a pot of coffee, and saw a creature run across the floor in front of you.  It is the last thing you expect to see, and not the kind of thing a pre-caffeinated brain needs to be forced to process.

Second, you become very afraid on a primal level because if there is a rat in your kitchen, then anything could be lurking in any corner of your house.  Your cozy abode becomes a war zone with the possibility of car bombs and savagery at every turn.  The perimeter has been breached, so really, it’s just a matter of time before the full-fledged attack ensues.

Third, you get grossed out thinking about all of the places he might have been before you disturbed his raid.  Was he on the counter tops?  Was he in the fruit bowl?  Did he touch the COFFEE??  You want to throw all of your food away and torch the kitchen because, now, you are picturing little pieces of rat poo in everything.  Even in the food sealed up in the refrigerator.  If the rat figured out how to get in the house, surely he figured out how to open the refrigerator and poop in the food.  That’s child’s play for a military genius, such as himself.

Then you start to wonder why it was so important to get up at 4:30 AM.  You were going to write, waking up with inspiration dancing on your brain and a crystal clear storyline lifting you out of warm sheets into a dark room.

But now you are crazy, scared and nauseated, standing in your kitchen, thinking about a rat.